Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Abusive Relationship -- Break It Up Before It's Too Late

Creating a new relationship is not as difficult as maintaining and nurturing it. As time changes, so are people. Sometimes, he is kind, nice and very gentle person at the first time, but along with time, he change to be someone you don’t know.

People are not always aware when their relationship is change from healthy to abusive. In most cases, women are becoming victims, although there also cases showing that the man is the one who being abuse.

That is why we must keep our awareness, open up mind in every step of our relationship, and try to read signs, if this relationship headed in the wrong direction.

Abusive relationship can be characterized as extreme jealousy, emotional withholding, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, threat, lies, or even broken promises. Remember that abuse does not always mean physical violence. In fact, emotional abuse is more terrible, since it is not easy to recognize, and to recover from. It can create long term effect to the victims.

When they find their partner is abusive, most people think that they can change it. It is important to note that abusive relationship is progressive. It will get worse over time. So the best ways to stop it is cut it off, break up, or leave him or her. But, it is not always that easy. Abusive person is not easy to leave, since they are eager to keep the relationship, and usually they are using “love” reason for every abusive behavior they made.


There are some warning signs of abusive relationship. You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:


Jealous of possessive
towards you


Tries to control you
, being very bossy or demanding


Tries to cut off your social contact


Violent
or losing temper quickly


Pressure you sexually


Abuses drugs or alcohol


Claim you are responsible for his / her emotional state


Makes jokes that shame
, humiliate, or embarrass you


Lie to you
or cheats you often


Make vulgar comments
about others in your presence


Sometimes, if we are involved in the abusive relationship, we are not aware about it. In other hand, people around us are aware about us. So please, keep listening to your friends and families who try to tell you about the person, and that they are concerned about you.

If you are having a relationship, and you find yourself crying a lot, being depressed and unhappy, much more that the time when you are happy, or you feel afraid to break up with them, that can be a signal to end up this kind of relationship.

All you need to do is courage yourself to end this mess. Here are some steps to help you

  • Gather information and seek support about who can help you with your different needs. Get some help outside. Talk to your trusted friends and families.
  • Create a safety plan and choose a place to go if needed.
  • Just leave him/her. Cut off all of lines communication. Change you phone number, or email so he/she will not able to contact you.
  • Put your life back together. You need to heal yourself. Learn to love yourself, and find what is best in you. Maybe you need sometimes alone to recover your mental.
  • Remember that you still have a long life to live. Find new friends, and when the times go by, you will find a new relationship. Just make sure that this one is a healthy one.


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Thursday, May 14, 2009

VITAMINS TO PREVENT CANCER

Nowadays, there are various vitamins and supplements that claim can make your body healthier, even http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16655168/ some disease like cancer.

however, there is one study about vitamins to prevent heart attack and cancer, and the result is vitamins do not decreasing the risk to have a cancer in pascamenopause women. Mature woman still have risk to suffer from cancer. They can suffer from breast cancer, or ovarium cancer.

Besides that, vitamins also can't prevent heart attack or stroke. A research shown that if you eat fruits and vegetables, you have a lower possibility to suffer cancer than they who don't eat fruits and vegetables. But, if the vitamins inside the fruits and vegetables being converted to tablets, they will not work.

As a consumer, we have to decide to keep using vitamins, or spending our money to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. Read More...

Friday, May 8, 2009

JOBLESS

Wednesday, April 29th 2009. That was my graduation ceremony day. Finally, after this 4,5 years, I finished my study. And Im now an unemployment.... but, actually, I don’t think that Im a jobless. I have a job, I make money, even in a small amount. Too bad that people around me don’t think so. Even though they can see that I do make money, but they keep thinking that Iam jobless, and take a pity on me.

That makes me think that there is something wrong in the way we think. And the truth is, it is how most of our people way of think. Even my parents said that I have to get a job in a bank, or a firm, or something like that, when I told them that I want to be an entrepreneur. Most of our people think that people who have finished their education, they have to be an employee.

In fact, after this global crisis that attack most of countries in the world, the number of unemployment is rising dramatically. When getting a job become difficult, then why don’t we create our own job? Being entrepreneur is one way out. There’s nothing better than become a boss of yourself. You can work, you can play, you can have more spare time, and you can decide how much income you desire.

Here are some points you gotta check when you stuck in a jobless live:

Create a chance

Start from a small things in your neighbourhood. Keep on eye for a change happens around you. Learn what other people need, and fulfill it. Find out if there is a problem around your society, give them the solution.

Building network

Building network is a very important thing to do. The more relations you have, the bigger chance you will get. Help your friends as long as you can, and create a solid network so when you need help, your network will help you kindly.

Taking a risk

Just like a phrase in a movie – which I can’t remember the title – ‘no risk, no glory’. In bussiness, there will always a risk. You can get profit sometimes, and in other times, you lose.

Working harder

A success person always work two times harder than other people. So keep your hard work till the end and never give up.

Be creative

Keep learning, keep smart and creative. Always come up with new innovation so people will always waiting for you.

Be patience

Like old man said, ‘what come easy, will gone easily’. It perhabs will take days, weeks, months, or years before you finally get success.

Believe in you

It maybe take a long way to your success, but if you believe, there’s nothing impossible. Just believe in yourself.

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LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP


A friend of mine, has a boyfriend staying out of town. They have this relationship form some years. Then sometimes ago, she met this guy, who treat her nicely, and soon, their relationship go beyond friendship. So now she is having two boyfriend in a sametime.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh to see how she handle them. She tell him that she miss him, and tell the other him that ‘I hardly can’t live without you here, baby’....

I know I can’t trust people easily – some of friends said that Im a suspicious – that’s why I choose not to have a long distance relationship. I feel that I can’t live here while he is far out there doing something with someone I don’t know, driving me nutts I guess.... (lol)

But, there is also a friend of mine that has a succesfull long distance relationship. They trust each other, she told me. They talking in phone for hours, chatting, emailing each other. They almost never having a dispute indeed.

So if you’re boyfriend or girlfriend is going to go to far far away, here are some comparison between long distance relation ship and close distance relationship.

· In close distance relation, your chance to know what he is doing, who he see or meet, is bigger than a long distance one. Of course its not that easy when your partner is having a job. You can’t always stick on him can you?

· If you are a kind of person that easy to fall in love, just dont take a long distance. The same way if you are a suspicious. It’s going to be too hard to take.

· Having limited gadget or budget is an obstacle for a long distance relation. You will need to phone her or him like three or four times a day, or just one time, but for hours. Your phone bill will make you collapse at the end.

· It may be vary, but long distance make you miss each other so when you talk, you don’t want to having a debate. It can work the other way. You won’t stop to argue each other because of a missunderstood or misscommunication. But, as my boyfriend said, the more we argue, the more romantic we are when we made up.

There you go. And I still choose a close distance relationship. I hardly can’t live.... Read More...